I Simply Cannot Think Of A Title
"Went to church, praying Santa Maria, send me guidance."
Oh heyyyyyyyyyyy! It has truly been a while. Absolutely nothing is going on over here. There were some things that I thought would have happened or happened by now and none of that’s the case. So I guess lately I’ve been feeling a lot of nothing, like Diana Morales in A Chorus Line. Oh, I’ve been absolutely obsessed with that musical lately. I’ve watched the 1985 film version like 4 times in the last few months and I watched a bootlegged recording of the 2006 Broadway revival on YouTube twice, so yeah, you can say I’m under a bit of a chorus line spell. I saw the Broadway revival when I was a freshman in high school. It was incredible. Seeing a grainy, out-of-focus, recording of that show should have paled in comparison to seeing it live, but honestly, I still felt as though I were there. I cried. I laughed. And I belted (in my head) “What I Did For Love.” Now, I’m not bound for Broadway, at least not in the singing and dancing sense. I can’t sing. And my hips are far too stiff for dancing. But if I could sing and dance, I would EAT in a production of A Chorus Line.
So, you’re not a dancer? Why are you obsessed with the show then? Why what a wonderfully appropriate question that leads to my next thought, thank you, though you should know unsolicited questions won’t be considered from this point forward. In a way, I kinda feel like the 16 dancers on stage giving it their all, for a shot in the chorus. I feel like I’ve been busting my ass. Hitting my 5-6-7-8. Putting it all out on the floor for just a chance to be in the background and god I hope I get it.
If you’re wondering what I’m talking about, I don’t really want to get into all of it. I was a finalist in this TV writing thing that didn’t pan out and I was supposed to have had a play premiere at this festival last month but it was pushed to the summer. I’m not complaining or feeling sorry for myself. I’m just really sitting in it ya know. In mid-November 2021, I thought the beginning of my 2022 was going to look a certain kind of way. And it’s not. And that’s life, especially in these continuously unprecedented times we are apparently still living. But I’m the kinda person who really likes to embrace whatever I have going on emotionally, be it dark or delightful. And I’m sensitive, extremely anxious, and have many fears when it comes to my career ambitions. So yeah, a lot was going on. But now, nothing. And that’s aight.
What else, what else, what else…
It’s Black History Month.
I mean it is Black History Month but I ain’t talking about that right now. I’m uhh how you say uhh OVER IT. Not the month or being Black silly. I’m just feeling a little like someone else take over, please. Someone else do something. Someone else read an article, see a distressing video, watch a mother mourn on camera. I just…I’m feeling spent. And the worst part is, I feel that way and nothing happens, nothing changes. If I mobilize and take a more active role, nothing happens, nothing changes. LOL. So forgive me if I’m feeling a little void of emotions lately. But I’m not sad! I just…I feel nothing.
Let’s not end this on a downer. Oh, there’s this show Murderville on Netflix. Now that’s something! It’s an improv murder mystery show. I know, you want to barf right now, but don’t! Will Arnett plays this detective and every episode a new celebrity joins him as a detective in training. And there’s a murder and by the end, the celebrity has to figure out who killed the victim. And there are wonderful scenes, characters, and comedy! If you watch one thing today, let it be the episode with Marshawn Lynch aka Beast Mode aka one of the baddest people to play in the NFL.
Oh and I’ve been seeing so many shows lately. Broadway. Off-Broadway. I love it. It sparks joy. Lots and lots of gay shrieking when Patti Lupone sings Ladies Who Lunch joy.
Anyway, that’s all for now. Don’t know when I’ll be back. Later skaters.
"In mid-November 2021, I thought the beginning of my 2022 was going to look a certain kind of way. And it’s not" — this resonated with me so strongly!! Winter always trips me up with it's slow pace and lack of progress, but I somehow forget this each year. Hoping everything comes to fruition for you in the months ahead!