The Execution Will Be Televised

This world has one iron rule: logic is an enemy and truth is a menace.

Where have I been? About a week and a half ago I noticed this bizarre thing would happen when I’d open social media. I’d scroll, incessantly, until I mentally told myself “get off of here, it’s a wasteland and it’s making you lose your mind!” So I’ll close the app, let’s call her Photonya Grid. And then whoosh! I’d blackout. No memory of what happened afterward. All I know is some amount of time has passed and I’m back with Photonya Grid, about 10 full-screen, index-finger scrolls in. And in this moment, I realized my relationship with Photonya was…well I would say toxic but that word has been properly co-opted by the $1000/night “wellness retreat” space, and the last thing I want to do is disrespect them. So let’s just say, my relationship with Ms. Grid had become quite pestiferous. She made me nauseatingly anxious all the time. She made me equate my personal value to a numeric value pre-determined by an algorithm derived from another algorithm, created by a code, written by someone who went to a school you’ve never heard of, like Rose Hulman, who had a $120K salaried job lined up before their senior year while you were trying to piece together how you wound up paying $175 at a bar when you only had four drinks, oh but that’s right you bought a round of shots for everyone, or wait you actually bought a round of shots twice. But like, do you Venmo them now, or did you say “these are on me!” when you bought them? Fuck. Anyway, what was I saying?

Oh! That’s right. I broke up with Photonya Grid. And by broke up I mean we’re taking a break. And by that I mean I deleted her from…the home screen of my phone…

And boy do I feel great! But everyone now and again, I hit up Photonya to see how she’s doing and, well, what can I say, she’s moved on. She doesn’t appear to be thinking about me as much as I’ve thought about her. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, what else could I expect from someone who literally makes everyone feel like the world revolves around them. I meant that’s her whole brand. Here is a special place I’ve created just for you. Don’t leave me. But if you do, that’s fine, because you are more obsolete than you think. You are a dime a dozen. I’ve got hundreds of millions of you’s. But you only have one me. I mean the ego. But what can I say, her powers really had a hold on me. Sometimes I wonder if don't have a presence on social media, do I even really exist? Like I said, ego.

So I’ve been living a little more for me lately. Taking in information and content in a healthier way. I, like everyone else, have been watching and loving The White Lotus on HBO. It’s created by Mike White, someone whose career I so badly would love. I mean, he wrote School of Rock and Nacho Libre and then was like oh you think this all I can do, here’s a dark little indie called The Good Girl starring Jennifer Anniston and Jake Gyllenhaal. Also, Laura Dern, remember her? She’s about to have an amazing career second act and I’m going to quietly be responsible for it with a little gem of a show called Enlightened. Oh, I’m also going to be a contestant on the iconic show Survivor and make it to the finale! Maybe I didn’t outwit or outplay, but I did outlast, and still get to go home a millionaire. And let’s sprinkle in a try at the Amazing Race…twice! Yeah, I love him. I love the show. It has such a unique reality tv sensibility, the way the characters dip in and out of each other’s worlds. Oh and Murray Bartlett created one of the most delicious characters I’ve seen on TV in a hot second. And someone’s going to die before it’s over! Who will it be? How will they go? Will we see? Check it out, if you’re not already.

Oh! Did you read the climate change report? Actually, I don’t want to talk about it.

Well, ok, I’ll talk about it a little. What if this is it? What if we really don’t have that much time left? Then what? Are we still going to be trying to figure out a way to take zoom meetings from our perspective bunkers? You know, those of us, who have them, which won’t be most of us. Sometimes I think about what it would be like to exist in a time when full-on anarchy and chaos is unleashed as we plummet from apocalypse to post-apocalypse. Would I join a group to scavenge and roam the world for ultimate survival? Would I try to worm my way into the aristocratic class of decision-makers, the District 1s? Or would I still be here, recklessly typing into the void hoping that somewhere out there is a nomad who wants to give up his life of hunting coronazombies and become a literary agent? Holy shit, that WOULD be me. Wow. Maybe that’s inspiring or maybe it’s depressing. Or maybe…it’s the plot to the kind of hit feature film this world has been waiting for! *she says as she takes a puff of a cigar, tips up her fedora, and begins ferociously pounding on the typewriter. Before we know it, 120 pages of brilliance lay on the floor, while she paces around, talking to the head of MGM on her rotary phone*

“Boy oh boy do I have the script of a lifetime. And I ain’t talking radioplay. This script is for the pictures! It’s got everything. Life. Death. And showbiz baby!”

I like writing. This felt good. I want to do this more.

Maybe I don’t need her after all.

First things first, can we just admire this shot. I mean the use of foreground, midground, and background. The lighting. In 1961! For television! It’s just *chef’s kiss, chef’s kiss, chef’s kiss* This is a still from “The Obsolete Man,” an episode of the Twilight Zone in which Burgess Meredith plays a librarian who has been sentenced to death for obsolescence. In this time and place, anyone deemed obsolete, no longer needed by society, is executed in a manner of their choosing. The librarian chooses to die by bomb and insist his death be broadcast to the world. Whew, I could say some things about this but I really want to ask why Burgess Meredith always played someone obsessed with books in this show. He’s in several episodes and in most of them his love for books always lead to his downfall. If I was him I’d be like what kind of type casting is this? Like I get it, I’m no Paul Newman, but can I get a little more edge? Books! I’m dying over some damn books!